Hurricane
by MrsHalsteadxx
Summary: Thinking back to that night, Jay felt a sense of longing come over him. As he glanced next to him, to find her still sleeping soundly, he knew he couldn't stick around. He couldn't let her put him through that again, because he knew he wouldn't survive it a second time.


**Hi guys!**

 **I know it's been a while since I've posted an update, but quite frankly with all that has been going on with Erin and Jay - I haven't really felt any inspiration.**

 **However, I did have a random burst of it tonight, and within two hours - this baby was born. It took a totally different turn than I planned for it to, but that's usually how it goes for us, right guys? Either way, I hope you all enjoy this!**

 **My angst Jay & Erin :) The flashback picks up after the finale when Jay was waiting for Erin at Mollies! I didn't like the idea of her just leaving and not telling him! **

**Also, the song is HURRICANE by LUKE COMBS.**

* * *

" _Jay, I'm sorry. Don't do this."_

 _Jay quickly stumbled to his feet, chasing after her. He reaches out and grabs her arm, turning her to him just as she reached for the front door to her, their, apartment._

" _Erin, you haven't even let me say–"_

" _I'm sorry Jay, I am. I just" She trails off, and takes a moment to blink back a few tears. She avoided looking at him; at his hurt expression because she couldn't stand to see how much she was breaking his heart._

 _Jay Halstead was too good of a man, too pure even though he often denied that, and it was time that he realized he would be better off without her. It might take him a while, but one day he was going to thank her for this._

" _Jay you just have to trust me on this. Okay? I have to go, I'm sorry." She leans up, softly planting one last kiss to his cheek before turning and walking out the door._

 _Jay stood there, watching the girl he loved until she disappeared through the doorway leading to the steps. She had opted out of taking the elevator, in hopes of getting away from him faster._

 _Once she was no longer in his vision, her blonde curly hair and bright eyes gone, Jay sunk down to the ground. He shook his head, fighting the tears that were threatening to leave his eyes. In that moment he didn't care that he looked ridiculous, he let them flow as he clutched that tiny black box in his left hand._

 _Jay Halstead had just lost the love of his life. And he wasn't sure how he was going to come back from this._

With a groan, Jay's eyes slowly open.

In the year that Erin Lindsay had been out of his life, he had spent many nights rest reliving that night. He had finally thought he was getting somewhere, having not had the reminder in a few months.

But of course, just when he thought he was okay, he was awoken at 4:46 this morning due to that horrible dream.

He lay in his bed for a solid five minutes before sighing and giving up. He quickly and carefully climbs out of bed, careful not to wake the woman next to him, and heads toward his bathroom for a shower.

He might as well get his day started.

* * *

"Halstead!" Adam Ruzek exclaims, walking into the locker room and over to his friend. He claps him on the shoulder as Jay stuffs his vest into his locker. The team had just got back from a bust, and having turned up short Voight had sent them packing for the night. "What are your plans tonight?"

Jay shrugs as she shuts his locker. "I don't know. I was gonna watch the game, have a beer. Maybe crash early."

"Oh hell no." Adam shakes his head in conviction as he pushes his friend toward the door. "You're coming out with everyone tonight."

"Ruz-"

"No arguments. It's been forever, we miss you buddy. You're coming and that's final."

"Ok, okay." Jay agrees, holding his hands up in surrender to his friend. "One drink but that's it."

Adam rolls his eyes before once more shuffling his best friend toward the staircase and out of the bullpen.

 **Hadn't had a good time  
Since you know when  
Got talked into going out  
With hopes you were staying in  
I was feeling like myself for the first time  
In a long time  
'Til I bumped into some of your friends  
Over there talkin' to mine**

Fifteen minutes later Jay and Adam walk into Mollies, the bar being ridiculously crowded and busy, even for a Friday night. The two push through the crowd toward the back of the bar where their friends sat and waited.

Everyone was curious if Adam had actually been able to talk Halstead into joining them, and were starting to doubt his abilities when they had started on their second round of beers. But just then Kevin looks up and waves their friends over, being met with a nod from Adam. Jay followed.

"Well well, do my eyes deceive me or is that you, Jay Halstead?" Natalie Manning, soon to be Halstead laughs, as she moves to hug her fiancé's younger brother.

"In the flesh, you miss me?" He jokes pulling away from her hug to greet everyone else. Mouse, Kevin, Antonio and Will offer a hey in exchange while Nadia moves to hug Jay as well.

He stiffens a bit, but hugs the younger girl back before also saying hello to Kim. She offers a small smile in return.

Jay really liked Nadia, hell at once she was like a little sister to him, as well as he enjoyed working with Kim since she had moved up to Intelligence. She was damn good police – and Nadia was well on her way as well, having just graduated the academy. He was proud of both of them, but it was still weird. They were both best friends of Erin's and the awkwardness only got worse after Erin left town.

"Do you remember my little sister, Olivia?" Natalie asks, trying to shift the tension that had just surrounded the table. She nods to the younger brunette sitting to her left.

"Of course," Jay smirks turning to Olivia, and she smirks in return. "Good to see you again," He offers, having just saw her that morning.

Olivia Shutt was Natalie's younger but equally smart sister. She had recently graduated med school, and was currently in her first year of Residency of Chicago Med, alongside her sister and future brother in law. Much like her sister, she enjoyed Emergency Medicine, and was quickly soaking up every ounce of knowledge she could learn.

Jay and Olivia had met not long after she rolled into town three months ago. Will had practically begged Jay to come out with him, Natalie and Olivia as they celebrated her graduation. He didn't want to be the only one being drug around town, and he wasn't sure how he had managed to drag Jay out as well, but he did. And it had done wonders on his little brother, as he watched him with her, truly laughing and having a good time since Erin had left, months earlier.

"Yeah, you too." Olivia says, her eyebrow lifting in a flirting manner.

Jay was just about to say something when he catches Nadia sending a glare in his direction. What he had, or didn't have, with Olivia was just playful and didn't mean anything, but clearly Nadia, and Kim who had now caught on, didn't see it that way. They were loyal to their friend.

"Uh it looks like we need another round, I'll be right back." Before anyone can argue, Jay turns and makes a beeline for Herrmann.

 **Then you rolled in with your hair in the wind  
Baby, without warning  
I was doing alright  
But just your sight had my heart storming  
The moon went hiding, stars quit shining  
Rain was driving, thunder, lightning  
You wrecked my whole world when you came  
And hit me like a hurricane  
Hit me like a hurricane**

"Hey I figured you could use a bit of help," Olivia laughs as she comes to stand next to Jay. He was currently leaning on the bar, waiting as Herrmann gathered everyone's drinks for him to take back to the table.

"Or you were just looking to piss off Nadia and Kim a little more," Jay chuckles, to which she holds her hands up in surrender.

"It's been a year, she's clearly not coming back. So why are they so protective?" She mutters, clearly knowing the full story of he and Erin and why her friends looked at her like she was a threat when Erin had been the one to walk out on him that night.

Jay opens his mouth to justify his friends, things were weird with them at the moment but they were still his friends, actions, but his eyes widen instead when he hears a chorus of "Lindsay!" and "Erin, over here!"

He stares down at the tray of drinks Herrmann had just placed in front of him, before turning toward his friends across the bar. Sure enough, there stood Erin Lindsay, even more gorgeous than the day she had left – left him.

Suddenly his mouth was dry and his palms sweaty. He was at a loss of words seeing her there in the flesh in front of him.

Erin Lindsay was in Chicago; clearly far from her new home of New York City. What was she doing here?

Erin glances up, wrapped in an embrace from a very eager Nadia, and locks eyes with Jay. They both stand like that for a moment, and Erin swears she wouldn't be the one to break it so instead she watches him intently.

After a few moments, Jay gathers his composure and mutters something about needing some air before leaving Olivia with the trays of drinks, and bolting toward the door.

The door flies open and he welcomes the cold Chicago night air as he bolts down the steps and down the street a little.

* * *

"I should go-" Erin says sitting her bag down on the empty stool in between Kim and Natalie, before turning to run after Jay. She stops only when she feels a hand on her arm. She turns around to see none other than Will Halstead, towering over her.

He offers her a small smile before leaning down to plant a quick kiss to her cheek in greeting. "I got him, Er. Have a drink." And with that, he pushes his way through the crowd and out the door after his younger brother.

* * *

"You okay?" Will asks, walking over to his brother and leaning against the side of Mollie's where Jay was currently trying to clear his head.

"What the hell is she doing here?" Jay spats, clearly agitated. He was doing really well for the first time since Erin had left. He had been going out, slowly at first, but he was enjoying himself again. He had learned to laugh again – and he was able to have a little bit of fun without Erin clouding his every thought.

Then that damn dream that morning… it's like his subconscious knew and was trying to warn him. He wished it had been a little clearer that his life was about to be flipped upside down.

Will sighs, knowing it was time he let his little brother in on the truth. "I overheard Kim and Nadia telling Natalie that Erin is back… for good. Whatever gig she had in New York wrapped up and apparently they worked out a deal on her mom so she was able to come home. She won't be able to work in your unit or with Voight, but she's accepted another job in the district."

"Great, just fucking great." Jay mutters, closing his eyes and running his hand down his face in frustration.

 **Knew it was gonna be a long night  
From the moment when  
We locked eyes over whiskey on ice  
Started talking bout us again  
If I woulda just layed my drink down  
And walked out  
I wouldn't be in my truck  
Driving us to your house**

"Hey, there you are." Erin mutters lamely. "Anyone sitting here?"

Jay glances to her, before shrugging. He turns his attention back to his whiskey, his much needed stronger drink for the night.

"How've you been?"

Jay couldn't stop the scoff that escaped him, even if he had tried. "Like you care, Erin." He snaps his voice full of venom, and a hint of hurt and sadness.

"Of course I do, Jay. I love you Jay, and I always will, which means I'm always going to worry about you and wonder how you're doing, wonder if you're doing okay."

"Well I'm fine."

"Yeah, you look it." She replies sarcastically. She sits there for a moment, waiting for him to say something, before giving in. "Ok I'll see you around Jay."

Without hesitation, he reaches out and grabs her wrist, silently pleading her to turn back around and look at him. And when she does, he feels his breath hitch in his throat.

"You wanna get out of here?"

She smiles before nodding slowly. "Yeah."

 **But you rolled in with your hair in the wind  
Baby, without warning  
I was doing alright  
But just your sight had my heart storming  
The moon went hiding, stars quit shining  
Rain was driving, thunder, lightning  
You wrecked my whole world when you came  
And hit me like a hurricane  
You hit me like a hurricane**

Twenty minutes later they arrive at her hotel, as she was still in the middle of searching for a new apartment – as he had kept their old one when she left town.

She was barely able to get the door open as Jay stood behind her, his mouth moving up and down her neck driving her crazy - his hand resting underneath her shirt, resting on her stomach. He moved his mouth up to her ear before biting her earlobe and she shutters, feeling like no time had passed between the two of them.

The door barely swings open before he pushes her inside, slams the door shut with his foot and presses her back against it. He attacks her lips, hoisting her up. Her legs wrap around his waist as he tears her sweater from her body.

 **You hit me category five  
With your smile  
Blew me away  
And girl, it ain't but midnight  
You done killed the lights  
Bent my heart back to your bedside  
**

A few hours later Jay lays wrapped in the sheets of Erin Lindsay's hotel bed. He was wide awake, while she slept soundly next to him. His hands were resting under his head, as he started at the ceiling, listening to her soft snoring. It was still calming to him.

" _Er, there you are!" Jay says walking into his and Erin's apartment. He lays his keys on the small table next to the door, next to her own keys before making his way further into the apartment and over to her. "I've been looking for you all night! I thought you were coming out tonight."_

" _Uh yeah, I meant to, but I got wrapped up in some stuff."_

" _Everything ok?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at her as he sits on the arm of their couch. He sits and waits for her to answer._

 _"No," This grabs his attention. "But it will be." She pauses for a moment, and the room is full of silence before she continues. " We need to talk."_

" _Okay, and we will." He says pushing himself off the couch and walks toward her. "But first, I have to ask you something."_

 _Slightly confused, Erin stays silent waiting for his question. Her eyes widen when he pulls out a tiny black box and kneels in front of her._

" _I had a much better way of asking you this, but this will just have to do –"He says moving to open the box. She places her hands on top of his, halting his movements and causing him to glance up at her as he now was the one confused._

" _Jay, I'm sorry. Don't do this."_

 _Jay quickly stumbled to his feet, chasing after her. He reaches out and grabs her arm, turning her to him just as she reached for the front door to her, their, apartment._

" _Erin, you haven't even let me say–"_

" _I'm sorry Jay, I am. I just" She trails off, and takes a moment to blink back a few tears. She avoided looking at him; at his hurt expression because she couldn't stand to see how much she was breaking his heart._

 _Jay Halstead was too good of a man, too pure even though he often denied that, and it was time that he realized he would be better off without her. It might take him a while, but one day he was going to thank her for this._

" _Jay you just have to trust me on this. Okay? I have to go, I'm sorry." She leans up, softly planting one last kiss to his cheek before turning and walking out the door._

 _Jay stood there, watching the girl he loved until she disappeared through the doorway leading to the steps. She had opted out of taking the elevator, in hopes of getting away from him faster._

 _Once she was no longer in his vision, her blonde curly hair and bright eyes gone, Jay sunk down to the ground. He shook his head, fighting the tears that were threatening to leave his eyes. In that moment he didn't care that he looked ridiculous, he let them flow as he clutched that tiny black box in his left hand._

 _Jay Halstead had just lost the love of his life. And he wasn't sure how he was going to come back from this._

Thinking back to that night, Jay felt another sense of longing come over him. As he glanced next to him, to find her still sleeping soundly, he knew he couldn't stick around. He couldn't let her put him through that again, because he knew he wouldn't survive it again.

So instead, he very carefully crawls out of bed slipping his boxers and jeans on as he goes. He slips his boots on, before walking across the room and retrieving his shirt. He slips it on before glancing around the room.

Finding what he was looking for, he grabs the small notepad and pen she had lying on the table and jots down a small note. He signs his name, rips the paper from the notebook and makes his way across dimly lit room to place it on her beside. He knew she would see it when she woke up in the morning, as her glasses (that she insisted she didn't need, but he found cute) was lying there as well.

After placing the note, he very carefully sits on the edge of the bed, allowing himself a moment to take in her beauty. She seemed at peace as she slept, and he missed her even more in that moment, but he knew he had to do what was right for him. What was best…. So given that, he leans up and places a soft kiss to her cheek before pushing himself off the bed, and across the room. He steps out the door, closing it behind him and doesn't look back as he makes his way over to the Sierra.

* * *

Erin awakens a few hours later, with a huge smile on her face, and more relaxed than she's been in the last year. She glances to the clock and notices it was 4:23 am and turns to snuggle into Jay's side for a few more hours.

She was met by cold empty sheets, and a sense of dread and longing. She quickly sits up in the bed, bringing the sheet with her to compose her modesty as she glances around the dimly lit hotel room. Her stomach drops when she finds no sign of Jay or that he had ever been there.

He was gone. He had left her.

Her tears quickly spill over her eyes and down her cheeks as she realizes, for the millionth time in the last year, just how badly she had screwed up.

How did she think this one night of a hookup was going to change anything?

She reaches for her phone and was just about to call him, when a piece of paper lying on her bedside table catches her eye.

 _ **Er,**_

 _ **I'm sorry. I know this makes me a total dick to just up and leave after what we shared tonight, but I just couldn't stick around. I feel terrible and I shouldn't have let it happen… I just got caught up in you. I think it's best if we just forget this happened, and move on with our lives.**_

 _ **Jay**_

Erin lets the piece of paper fall from her hands and onto the ground as she collapses back into the bed. There, she wraps herself in the sheets that still smell of him and just let herself think back to a happier time of when Jay Halstead was all hers. **  
**

**Then you rolled in with your hair in the wind  
Baby, without warning  
I was doing alright  
But just your sight had my heart storming  
The moon went hiding, stars quit shining  
Rain was driving, thunder, lightning  
You wrecked my whole world when you came  
And hit me like a hurricane  
You hit me like a hurricane  
Hit me like a hurricane**


End file.
